Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Tuesday's Tips....

Here we go..Round 2! Once again, if you are offended by these, I am sorry. But this are my tips that I feel the need to share!

1. White eyeliner....not ok! We are not in Junior High anymore!

2. Glitter. If you are not working a pole...do NOT, I repeat, do NOT wear glitter!

3. Animal prints. I love them! I really do. However, you have to be very careful when trying to wear animal prints. The rules are as followed.

You may only wear one article of clothing that is animal print!
Your pants, leggins, or tights should NEVER be animal prints.
(I saw animal print skinny jeans in Target and about died!)
Bright neon colored animal prints are generally a bad idea.
Its almost 2010 people...not 1983!

4. Once again I feel the need to talk about leggins. I do think they are cute when worn right. Your shirt needs to cover your butt when you wear leggins. Think tunic style shirt, or mini dress. I dont want to see your butt in leggins. Especially your underwear lines! Unless you are a size 2, no ones butt looks good in tight leggins. Cover that up!

5. Jeans tucked into your boots...I love it! If done right. You must buy skinny jeans to tuck into your boots. (Unless in the snow when you are just trying to keep your jeans dry) The bunch up denim look ruins the adorableness of the boots!

6. This is a HUGE pet peeve for me, so much so that I have chills just writing this down....cat eye eyeliner!! Oh Geeze...I want to take a q-tip to the outer corner of the eye and wipe that hideous crap off! I love me some eyeliner, I wear it everyday. But when you try to do that outer corner flip..i cringe. Here is a photo as an example. If your eyes look like this go to the bathroom right now and wash it off!!

7. Here is a tip for anyone who posts pictures on myspace/facebook/hi5/blogger...anywhere.
Please don't put a picture of yourself up with a caption saying "I look so horrible, fat, hideous, etc" Let's be honest here, if you thought you looked that bad you wouldn't post that picture!! HELLO!! I take bad pictures more times than not, I don't post them! My feeling on this is if you are posting those pictures, you actually think you look good and you want your ego stroked by anyone who see's it. I'm sorry I am not going to say, "Oh, so and so, you don't look fat you look amazing!" No, from now on I will say, "Oh I totally agree...you look horrible in this picture, you should take it down before you are charged with an act of terrorism. It's just wrong to terrorize us with that picture!"

8. Orange tans Jersey Shore style. Some spray tans look very natural...the spray bottled tan for Walgreens/CVS does not. Orange is only a good look on a cheeto. Leave it to the snack foods!

9. Arm band tattoos on women. Oh Pamela Anderson you started a disgusting trend. I love tattoos, I have a couple. I even like arm tattoos on women. But I think if your going to get an arm tattoo you need to fully commit and get at least a half sleeve. There is no such thing as a dainty arm band. The tattoo artist who told you it looks girly lied..he wanted your $75.00.

10. Clip on hair extensions. Just because Jessica Simpson put her name on cheap extensions doesn't make them ok. She doesn't use them so you shouldn't either! If you want extensions stop being cheap and go pay a professional to do them. Other wise you will look like JWoww on Jersey Shore!

Those are the tips today! Check back next week for some more brutally honest tips!!


Courtney said...

I must confess...I have white eyeliner in my makeup drawer. I haven't worn it in a few years so I should probably throw it away, but I don't. And I can't give you a good reason why.

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

No tips for me... this time.


Grand Pooba said...

Haha! Love your tips and I'm pretty sure I follow each and every one of them, phew! Except I have never worn leggins but I so agree with you on that one, I do not want to see anyone's ass crammed into those half pant half tights contraption!

Amanda said...

Mel- those were great. I needed the laugh and love the honesty. I think a few of them only apply when you work a pole LOL!